All in Fatherhood

A Father's Day Gift Guide for the Softer Dad

I have a hunch, however, that there are a lot of dads out there who don’t fall into some of the stereotypical “dad gift” sections at the local retailer. Thus, I have created the alternative Father’s Day shopping list for the "softer dad." No tools and no grills. There’s plenty of that already out there for you to find. Hopefully someone out there might see their dad or themselves in some of the following items.

Let's Talk About Not Knowing Everything

I'm not going to be all my kids need in life. This may sound obvious, but when I actually face the reality it's a bit difficult for me to handle. There are things I just don't know, do well, or can anticipate about the world they will one day inherit. This is never more apparent than when it's time to bust out the tools. 

My Jack Pearson Problem

I think in 2018 where we see so many men falling off the horse, we are desperately grasping for some sort of knight in shining armor to put back up rather than embrace complexities in people. I think the show is too passive of Jack's faults because they know how much we all want to to idolize people, even when it's actually hurting us.

Exvangelical: Part 3

I'm driven by my belief that love, in all of its complexity, is the driving force of our human experience. The pursuit of love across tribal lines drives my curiosities towards those who've had experiences outside of my own. It was my encounters with people and my love for them that cracked my religious shell and I've run that direction ever since. 

Exvangelical: Part 2 - Entering the Void

Questioning the way of interacting with the world that I had known for so long left massive voids in my life. This was an identity and a culture I belonged to; a profession I planned my whole life around. I looked for new things to fill those voids; grasping on to anything that I thought would tell me who I was, and affirm that I was ok.

The 5 Best Netflix Shows To Watch With Your Kids (Without Going Crazy)

Rhodes and I both enjoy film and TV. Especially during the winter season, we often find ourselves exploring new shows, characters, and stories. Without a doubt there are some TERRIBLE kids programs out there (see "Caillou"). There are, however, some really decent ones that I can watch alongside him and not go completely insane. Rhodes is five years-old, and so the following are my top five picks of Netflix Originals for that age group. 

Guest Post: Oh, I get it now.

Contrary to popular belief, your life doesn’t have to magically change the moment you have a kid. If it doesn’t happen for you, don’t sweat it. There was no magic the first time I looked in Nate’s eyes. Just terror. We had this person now, a person who relied on us for survival. Pretty soon, these nurses were going to be dumb enough to let us leave the hospital with this person. The first month was a blur. No sleep, lots of tears. There was no magic. My magic moment came a few years later.

Exvangelical: Part 1 - My 10 Year Journey Out of Evangelicalism

Recently I had the opportunity to speak at CreativeMornings in Sacramento and during the Q & A, someone asked me what a “recovering evangelical” is—it’s a line in my bio, which had been read by the host when she introduced me. I’m embarrassed to say that I totally fumbled my answer. And I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. So...here is the beginning of my story. My truth. The only one I can tell.

Guest Post: A Saturday Morning

My eyes slowly open like a quick fade-in at the beginning of a film. They focus on the window to the right. It’s still dark outside, but a slight tint of blue is in the sky as the sun slowly begins its ascent in the East. It’s quiet, which means I have once again awoken before my phone’s alarm has gone off. 

Christmas At Home: Image Gallery

We do the thing where we switch off between Thanksgiving and Christmas each year. This rotation has worked for us and helped expectations with our families. Want to know where we'll be spending Christmas in 2023? We can tell you. Problem solved (mostly). 

Star Wars and Some Self-Reflection (Spoiler Free)

I'm the 36 year old man sitting in the theater who starts tearing up when the Lucasfilm logo and "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away" appear on the screen. I'm not kidding, the other night as these screens faded into view, I turned to Samantha with tears running down my cheek and uttered:"I'm so invested in this story."

Chaos, Order, and the Creativity that is Ours

If there is one thing that I know about creativity, is that it is about turning chaos into order. It's putting poetry to the pain of addiction, pursuing solitude to quiet an inner rage, or helping a client organize fragmented ideas and forming a plan. There's even a very old story that talks about the beginning of the world, and the dark and formless void that was brought to order by divine presence. Fatherhood is full of chaotic moments and we have the daly choice to engage and create. 

Guest Post: Learning for the Future

As the week wore on and my spirits continued to dwindle, I kept trying to figure out what I could do to fix the situation because it seemed as though this attitude is only directed towards me. Maybe it’s because I have to constantly punish her for her behavior after not seeing her all day? Maybe it’s another reason? Should I not smother her with hugs and kisses as soon as I walk through the door? Is it just a phase, or does she really not want anything to do with me right now?

Let's Talk About Meniere's Disease (Pt. 2)

Changing my diet has made all the difference in the world when it comes to managing Meniere’s Disease. A low sodium, dairy free diet is central and we have adopted all sorts of alternatives to sugar, caffeine, and remain gluten free (for the most part). I’m nowhere perfect when it comes to sticking to it a hundred percent of the time, but I’m so grateful for the work that Ann Boroch accomplished and Janna was able to experience and share with me.

Let's Talk About Thanksgiving

I spent most of my life pretty unaware of how some the major narratives around Thanksgiving can be harmful to people, particularly Native Americans. This wasn't intentional on anyone's part, it was simply a lack of both information and not knowing anyone with a different point of view. To be honest, we didn't put much thought into the matter. Thanksgiving was more about taking the time to be with family, taking inventory of the many blessings we had, and getting a few days off of school.